My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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