if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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