I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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