I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
