I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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