I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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