...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
