I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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