there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
