We won't sleep together?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
