look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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