THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Im part way to drunk.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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