we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
