this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
