i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
