You smell like a Billy Joel song
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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