Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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