best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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