This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
