Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
