forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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