I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
