Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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