It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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