if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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