God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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