I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
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After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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