maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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