I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize