normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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