my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
