Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
