I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
