Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
