I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
