Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize