i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize