She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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