Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I think your dad took our porno
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
