The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
