when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize