We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
