I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize