You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
oh god the rape fog is back!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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