theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
How external is "for external use only"?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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