Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
