Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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