I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
