matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
operation have a gay friend backfired
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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