I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This is the high leading the old right now
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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