im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
