White coat. Heels.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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