I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
