Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
