I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
