Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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