She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize