in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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