I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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