I met the friendliest cop last night
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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